20 April 2010

Happiness is not a feeling.

Happiness is a choice.
I have learned this late. I seem to be always late.
But it is not too late.

It has been a slow percolation. But I know it now. At least I understand it one layer deeper. 

Happiness is not reliant on anything exterior to our selves.

This is something you learn when you live in a tiny bungalow in a big-house town.
When you start over in a new career and you are bottom of the heap at the age of 41.
When loved ones judge you for not believing like them.
When people condemn you to hell.
When one of your kindred spirits dies a brutal, slow death.
When you survive depression and come out the other side.
When your teenaged son ignores you.

Deep happiness does not crumble when everything seems to crumble around us. It is so resilient I have found out.

Lasting, happiness is generated within ourselves first,
not outside of ourselves then working its way in...this much I know...

Deep happiness can sit quietly within us when we have an empty bank account. a hard chair. a crappy relationship. a raw deal.

Deep happiness is best created when we have nothing.
Nothing that looks happy, signifies happy, marks us as happy.

Sometimes I think we can spend so much time arranging our exterior lives that we have no time to arrange whats inside ourselves - then there is nothing to base our happiness on except what is outside - - all of which changes, crumbles, gets messed up... no matter how much straightening...or keeping...

Deep Happy is not reliant on things that change. It can't be really.
Its resident within us,
it is the first step for every journey.
It is the way we choose to approach life.
Happiness is forged when we detach ourselves from everything we have built around us -  and our resulting status within our neighborhoods, religious communities, families, work places, groups of friends...

Ego messes with your happy. It gets in the way. 
Happiness, the lasting kind, the kind that gets you through spots, and carries you through a mess - that kind is ego-less I have found out.

Happiness begins by intuiting a core goodness within ourselves, others, the world.
It does not begin on a foundation of judgment of ourselves or others or the world.
That is an impossible foundation to build happiness on,
but a hard habit to let go of.

 But it is lovely when you finally do.
Happiness is a choice every day. every new situation. every new person.
every same-old situation.
every same old person.

It is contentment and trust that things will be alright, that there is still good when everything seems so bad.

Happiness is not glee. not always.
Happiness sometimes is the hardest choice.
But it will make things easier...much easier than if you did not choose it.

Happiness knows that feelings are fleeting and not reality, and does not wallow in them for too long. Happiness does not allow feelings to always dictate actions.

Happiness understands that you are not your mind - the place where feelings are generated. Happiness come from a deeper well.
From your inner self - you are not your monkey brain. 

Happiness winks at you when you finally find your inner self, sitting quietly, beyond the curtain of your mind.

Happiness is not a feeling.

It is a chosen perception.  It is power.   It is deep understanding of what is.

What comes after that choice,  is your life !  Enjoy as many moments as you can today.



  1. So beautiful, and so true, Marcella. :-) Thank you for the timely reminder!

  2. Happiness is hearing the strong voice of one who has felt the earth while digging out of the rut, visited a bungalow and comes back to remind us "happiness is sometimes the hardest choice" because we do not notice our "self sitting quietly behind the curtain of our mind." Thank you!

  3. That was a really lovely post, dear.
    I'm fighting myself with a "mother" problem these days and trying to keep the feeling of happiness that yoga is teaching me I have inside is sometimes really hard...think I can do it though!!!

    Thank you!

  4. I find this practice hardest at 3 am when my busy mind sometimes likes to get to work - life can seem at its worst in those wee hours...then you get up, its morning, the grass is green, a bird sings, your child is his goofy endearing self and you are reminded why you have a deep down belief in life's goodness -

  5. Hey sweetness, sounds like someone is wearing their internal bikini! What a lovely post. I've missed you. I'm glad you're back. xo

  6. very good post! you wrote what I can't express in words that I was only thinking about!